


A Homo Fiasco™

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A Homo Fiasco, Based on an actual groupchat, It's another groupchat fic, Modern AU, Multi, Now Included: One Vaguely John Laurens/Philip Hamilton Scene, Polyamory, Sports, stories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 12,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'M EXPOSING ----</p><p>Alexander Hamilton,<br/>one of my fics got bookmarked by the author of 1-800 and i am Scream™</p><p>baguette fucker<br/>Same they're so sweet they comment on my work bless</p><p>Alexander Hamilton<br/>Bless™</p><p> </p><p>baguette fucker<br/>Please mention I love them and want to be their friends</p><p>Alexander Hamilton<br/>same</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

baguette fucker  
I'M STILL WAITING ON MY PRESENTATION GOD

royalty george  
tip bud

royalty george  
rip

TJeffs  
Tip

royalty george  
I, A Simple Mess, Am Dragged Constantly

Johnny Boy  
im back

Johnny Boy  
George u still drag yourself tho

royalty george  
I can't help it

Johnny Boy  
Tip.

royalty george  
pleade

royalty george  
FUCK

Johnny Boy  
i"M WHEEZING

royalty george  
I really am Jefferson

royalty george  
A FUCKING MESS

royalty george  
but like u know that thing where he got that really bad headache after being awkward in front of the girl

royalty george  
THE MOST RELATEVLE THING I EVER READ

Adotburr  
ME

Johnny Boy  
i find that relatevle too

royalty george  
PLEASE

royalty george  
IM TRYING MY BEST


	2. Motherfucking Southerners

TJeffs  
How was everyones day?

Johnny Boy   
I got my life together but then did nothing

Alexander Hamilton  
Good! Found some pokemons

royalty george  
I did nothing all day

Adotburr  
Fine, I went shopping

Johnny Boy  
We're so productive

Alexander Hamilton  
Yes we are

TJeffs  
Yay to us

royalty george  
I sinned and dragged myself

Johnny Boy  
I do that too

Johnny Boy  
We fight due to our bond(age)

royalty george  
kinky

Johnny Boy  
;)

TJeffs  
We played with the voice memo thing too

Johnny Boy  
I'm so glad i get to hear screaming

TJeffs  
Which was funsies

Johnny Boy  
speaking of screaming

Johnny Boy  
*deep breath*

royalty george  
dear god

Johnny Boy  
HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY YEEHAW HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY

Johnny Boy  
HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY

royalty george  
FUVKING JOHN

Johnny Boy  
YEEHAW HOWDY

royalty george  
JOHN

Johnny Boy  
YEEHAW?

TJeffs  
Shit

Adotburr  
Stop

Alexander Hamilton  
Christ

Johnny Boy  
howdy :(

royalty george  
I PREDICTED THIS

Alexander Hamilton  
Nice

Johnny Boy  
You should have predicted this

Johnny Boy  
I wasnt hiding it

royalty george  
tru

baguette fucker  
Day was alright

Alexander Hamilton  
It's still cold and raining

baguette fucker  
I get to go home after this and eat food

Alexander Hamilton  
Food is always good

royalty george  
spaghetti

Adotburr  
Food is the bomb.com

TJeffs  
Rest on spaghetti never forgetti

Alexander Hamilton  
Christ

royalty george  
my head stone tbh

baguette fucker  
Come friends what should I eat

TJeffs  
Garlic bread

royalty george  
spaghetti

Alexander Hamilton  
Nuts

Johnny Boy  
me ;D

royalty george  
nut

Alexander Hamilton  
Me


	3. A single yike

Alexander Hamilton  
I'm bored

Johnny Boy  
Hi bored

royalty george  
I'm dad

TJeffs  
We're all dad

Johnny Boy   
daddy

Alexander Hamilton  
No

royalty george  
kinky ,')

Alexander Hamilton  
Gay

royalty george  
IM LAUGHING AT THE EMOJI I CREATED

royalty george  
,')

royalty george  
WHAT THE FUVK

Johnny Boy  
Help them

royalty george  
I can't be helped

royalty george  
,')

royalty george  
',)

Alexander Hamilton  
Y'all are nasty

Johnny Boy   
You'd know

royalty george  
accreate

Johnny Boy   
*accurate

Johnny Boy   
Ya know

Johnny Boy   
Unlike ur spelling

royalty george  
why do u like hurting my feeling?

royalty george  
s

royalty george  
there was supposed to be an s

TJeffs  
What the heck is that emoji

royalty george  
',)

royalty george  
,')

Johnny Boy   
korkot vontos

TJeffs  
It looks like me after school

royalty george  
same tbh

Johnny Boy   
It looks like me, yike

Alexander Hamilton  
Yike™

royalty george  
then ur very sexy ,')

Johnny Boy  
;D

Alexander Hamilton  
Yikez™

royalty george  
',)

TJeffs  
Enough

Johnny Boy  
yes daddy4


	4. Behind the scenes

Johnny Boy/Mint created group >  
Johnny Boy/Mint added Alexander Hamilton, Carla//AFightMeHam

Johnny Boy /Mint, [14.07.16 23:32]  
Fight Fight Fight

Alexander Hamilton, [14.07.16 23:32]  
Why

Johnny Boy /Mint, [14.07.16 23:32]  
cause im vaguely sure ur both alexander hamilton

Alexander Hamilton, [14.07.16 23:32]  
Yes but Carla hasn't been on in 7 hours

Johnny Boy /Mint, [14.07.16 23:33]  
I know but ya'll gotta have a time and place face to face dont cha

Alexander Hamilton, [14.07.16 23:33]  
Good point

Johnny Boy /Mint, [14.07.16 23:33]  
It's a notification of a paradox, n also i like to tell people to fight

Alexander Hamilton, [14.07.16 23:34]  
Lmao

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:01]  
tbh one of u could be phillip

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 00:01]  
That's true

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:01]  
Or martha washington who i dont think we have, or theodosia , either of them

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:01]  
tbh why tf do they keep naming people after others in the family

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 00:02]  
Do we have a herc

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:02]  
phillip n the second phillip

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:02]  
No i dont htink so

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 00:02]  
WE NEED A HERC

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:02]  
theodosia n theodosia

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:02]  
We have a couple of people who arent named yet

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 00:02]  
I need my main man herc

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 00:02]  
this is a Warm Disaster™

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:12]  
I'm HEERE

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:13]  
GOTTA FIGHT

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:13]  
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:13]  
I AM THE TRUE ALEX

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:13]  
NO I AM

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:13]  
FIIGHT

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:13]  
FIGHT BETTTERRR

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:13]  
IF U LET ME BE ALEX U CAN BE PHILLIP AND I WONT GIVE U THE GUNS

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:14]  
Then u will live

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:14]  
Hmmmm

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:15]  
I agree

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:15]  
CHANGE UR NAME TO A PHILLIP THING

Carla // AFightMeHam, [15.07.16 03:15]  
This wasn't much of a fight

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:15]  
you can fight because phillip fucking died

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:15]  
BLOW US ALL AWAY

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:15]  
Yay!!!

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:20]  
Petition for carla to change their name to GunLaws to be phillip

Carla // Phillip Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:20]  
Omg

Carla // Phillip Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:28]  
Tada

Alexander Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:28]  
MY SUN

Johnny Boy /Mint, [15.07.16 03:28]  
"dont call me hot dad"

Carla // Phillip Hamilton, [15.07.16 03:28]  
❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNEDITED UNCUT WOW


	5. Salty

Alexander Hamilton  
@John u were my gay fling until u got urself shot

Johnny Boy /  
OH IM SORRY ALEXANDER

Johnny Boy   
FOR DEFENDING

Johnny Boy   
UR LIVELYHOOD

Johnny Boy   
YA KNOW

Johnny Boy   
LIKE UR SON DID

Johnny Boy  
N U DID

Alexander Hamilton  
THE WAR WAS OVER

Johnny Boy   
WOW

Johnny Boy   
MAYBE

Johnny Boy   
MAYBE DEFENDING U

Johnny Boy   
GETS PEOPLE KILLED

Alexander Hamilton  
HOW

Johnny Boy   
IDK LOOK AT THE FACTS THO

Alexander Hamilton  
WHERE YOY DEFENDING NE

Johnny Boy   
I THINK I WAS

Johnny Boy   
IDK DYING MAKES REMEMBERING THINGS HARD

Alexander Hamilton  
;)

Johnny Boy   
wtf the fuck

Johnny Boy  
fight me

Alexander Hamilton  
Burr shot me

Adotburr  
True

Alexander Hamilton  
That was rude, did we at least get to dance

maddy mads  
shut the off

Johnny Boy   
this is a mess

Alexander Hamilton  
Rt

baguette fucker  
Yall are talking but I have zero clue what is going on

Adotburr  
Same

Johnny Boy   
We salty

Alexander Hamilton  
Yes

baguette fucker  
Everyone is always salty

Johnny Boy   
you'd know


	6. ITS STILL THERE

Johnny Boy  
HOLY FUCK GUYS TEHRES A BIG ASS GERMAN COCKROACHIN MY HOUSE

Alexander Hamilton  
Rekt

Johnny Boy  
lOWKEY HOW DO I CATCH IT @POKEMON FANS

Alexander Hamilton  
Death will come swiftly

Johnny Boy  
imma become a insect bender hold me aang

baguette fucker  
Cockroaches are the worst

maddy mads  
John the buggy master

Maria  
MASTER

Alexander Hamilton  
MARIA

Johnny Boy  
GUYS MY CAT IS JUST WATCHING ME ITS HIS FUCKING JOB TO DEAL WITH THIS

Johnny Boy  
FOR A CAT NAMED SIR ISSAC CUTEN HE SURE IS A FUCKING DUMBASS

baguette fucker  
You didn't think his name through

Maria  
SIR ISAAC CUTEN

Maria  
A R T

Johnny Boy  
YOU DIDNT THINK UR LIFE THROUGH FIGHT ME

baguette fucker  
COME AT ME

maddy mads  
leave him alone he's an INTELLECTUAL

Alexander Hamilton  
Same

Johnny Boy  
THIS IS A MESS WHERE'S DADDY

Alexander Hamilton  
;)

baguette fucker  
I am Dad

Johnny Boy  
AKA WASHINGTON SCREW U

maddy mads  
washington is probably asleep like a reasonable human 

Alexander Hamilton  
It's only been 8 hours

baguette fucker  
Well it's probs 4am for wash so

Alexander Hamilton  
Let them sleep

baguette fucker  
Washy with the good hair

Johnny Boy  
ITS 4AM FOR ME TOO TF

Alexander Hamilton  
It's 7pm

baguette fucker  
Jesus christ

maddy mads  
what tz is washington in

Johnny Boy  
YA'LL THINK IM IN UR TIMEZONE JK IM JUST A MESS

Adotburr  
It's like 11am where Washington is

Eliza  
Yup

Alexander Hamilton  
That's what I thought

Alexander Hamilton  
@Eliza ur the Eliza to my Alex and I think that's swell

Johnny Boy  
STOP FLIRTING WHEN IM DYING I THOUGHT U LOVED ME

Alexander Hamilton  
@john it's always time for flirting

Johnny Boy  
*UNHOLY SCREECHING*

Alexander Hamilton  
John got dragged

Johnny Boy  
*Deep breath*

Alexander Hamilton  
NO

Johnny Boy  
Listen here with ur salty ass bitch self u thinking imma howdy tf through this no i ain't this is fucking serious one of satans special buttplugs is crawling on my clean ass kitchen counters so u better stay the fuck in your lane or fucking drive your 4wheeler into my fucking barn of a house don't make me drag ur gay ass i have more receipts then a fucking dollar tree trash can

Eliza  
I have no words

baguette fucker  
I'm just impressed they typed that fast ngl

Alexander Hamilton  
Jesus can I have a tldr

Johnny Boy  
tl;dr fuck u

baguette fucker  
John is pissy

Alexander Hamilton  
<3

Alexander Hamilton  
Thank

baguette fucker  
Welc

Alexander Hamilton  
Where are these receipts @john

Alexander Hamilton  
U have a lot

Alexander Hamilton  
We're a mess

baguette fucker  
When are we not

Johnny Boy  
Don't expose how pure i am when im trying to drag u

Alexander Hamilton  
Ok continue ur drag

Eliza  
2 pure 4 u

Maria  
^^^

baguette fucker  
All of you are probably really pure

Johnny Boy  
hell no you'll get dragged by karma now see ur ass in COCK-roach hell

Alexander Hamilton  
Y'all betraying me left and right

Alexander Hamilton  
Dude those things are common place here

Alexander Hamilton  
Cockroaches are everywhere lel

Johnny Boy  
Probably after all the shit that comes outta ur mouth


	7. At least there wasnt the poety

Alexander Hamilton  
I miss washington

Johnny Boy  
rt

Alexander Hamilton  
When will they return from the war

baguette fucker  
Let the man rest

Maria  
RT

Johnny Boy  
washingdad is gone rip

Johnny Boy  
*washingdaddy

Alexander Hamilton  
We're done for

Maria  
rt rt rt

Johnny Boy  
"You're nothing without washington behind you"

Johnny Boy  
"behind you"

Alexander Hamilton  
Same

Johnny Boy  
"behind"

Johnny Boy  
"you"

baguette fucker  
DADDY'S CALLINF

Alexander Hamilton  
I also miss peggu

Johnny Boy  
I miss my love alexander

Johnny Boy  
Alas they have died.

Alexander Hamilton  
I AM HERE

Johnny Boy  
Rest in peace

Alexander Hamilton  
UOU DIED BEFORE ME UOU ASS

Johnny Boy  
*sniffs*

Johnny Boy  
Gone forever.

baguette fucker  
Sometimes we can still hear his voice

Johnny Boy  
He always did write like he was running out of time....

Alexander Hamilton  
for fucks sake

Johnny Boy   
I can almost hear him....

Johnny Boy  
He says git gud @Eliza

Alexander Hamilton  
No I don't I love my wife

Eliza  
It's like he's here

Alexander Hamilton  
Unlike a certain DEAD ASSHOLE who means NOTHING to me

Maria  
I see him in my dreams sometimes

Johnny Boy  
Eliza alas i am, so overcome with grief, shall we copulate tbh?

Alexander Hamilton  
LOOKING AT YOU JOHN

Eliza  
Yes, let's.

Johnny Boy  
❤️

Alexander Hamilton  
I'm outie™

Eliza  
❤️

Johnny Boy  
oh what was that alexander

Johnny Boy  
Sorry did u say something

Johnny Boy  
I was focusing on being better than u in everyway

Johnny Boy  
jk ilu ❤️

Johnny Boy  
Is this the start of captain america civil war.

Eliza  
Yes it is

Johnny Boy  
fuck


	8. Please Stop Snatching Your Own Weave

Washington  
Why am I here tbh

Johnny Boy  
sorry daddy

royalty george  
sorry daddy

TJeffs  
Dad plz

Washington  
Y'all are forgiven

sneeze man  
i'm not sorry

royalty george  
your sin will not be forgotten

Washington  
Good cause fuck u

SeptHuitNeuf  
BRB GOING TO EAT PIZZA

sneeze man  
not a very dadLY THING YO SAY

Johnny Boy  
holy shit dad tf

sneeze man  
oh fod

Maria  
YOUS GOT DADDY MAD

sneeze man  
I CAN'T TYPE ON MY OHONNE

sneeze man  
PJONE

Maria  
we can see

Johnny Boy  
honey pls stop dragging urself

royalty george  
FEEL MY PAIN

tailor soldier spy  
PAIN AND SUFFERING

Washington  
I'm just gonna watch you destroy yourself

ANGEL(ica)  
daddy no

Washington  
I don't even have to do shit

royalty george  
gay

Maria  
Chaotic evil

sneeze man  
just saving you the effort burnout is hard

royalty george  
me

Maria  
holY SHIT

Maria  
THAT DID ME FRIGHTEN

royalty george  
SHJEFHJT

royalty george  
DARK WASHINGTON

Johnny Boy  
highkey @washingdad savage af but also A Literal Holy Person ™

Maria  
it's lowkey hot

Johnny Boy  
RT

Washington  
Wait what

sneeze man  
finally the real sinner to the saint reveals himself

royalty george  
RT

ANGEL(ica)  
true

pegs schuyler  
rt

Washington  
This was not my intention what is happening

Maria  
Ssshhh

royalty george  
LMAOO

Johnny Boy  
Washington lowkey everyones ;)

sneeze man  
tbh

pegs schuyler  
tru

Maria  
You mean HIGHKEY

Johnny Boy  
;D

ANGEL(ica)  
rt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey someone send me that thing that (i think izzy made) where it has everyones names pronouns and hamilton character i need it because ya'll changed ur names while i was sleeping and i cant stand for this savageness.  
> For the people who r actually reading this for the first time waddup ;) thanks for the read


	9. Not Pictured: Nuttin'

TJeffs  
Theres nothing lowkey about how queer we are

pegs schuyler  
tru

SeptHuitNeuf  
Rt

Johnny Boy  
rt

ANGEL(ica)  
rt

Washington  
Preach

royalty george  
GAY

Johnny Boy  
Drag me daddy

pegs schuyler  
;)))

Johnny Boy  
',)

royalty george  
YWS

royalty george  
THABK U JOHN

royalty george  
',)

royalty george  
',)

Washington  
Gdi kids

TJeffs  
Its perfect

SeptHuitNeuf  
,')

ANGEL(ica)  
petition for washington to change his name to washingdaddy

sneeze man  
¨)

sneeze man  
cubist emoji

SeptHuitNeuf  
I signed

Johnny Boy  
Tag yourself im the petition

royalty george  
rt

royalty george  
no john ur a mess

sneeze man  
+1+1+1

Johnny Boy  
Excuse me have you looked at your messages i have the receipts for ur special brand of disaster

Washingdaddy  
Fuckin hell

royalty george  
FUCK JOHN U DIDNT HAVE TO FRAG ME LIKE THAT

Washingdaddy  
Frag

Johnny Boy  
that sounds gay but okay

royalty george  
DADDY NO

pegs schuyler  
frag

SeptHuitNeuf  
,')

royalty george  
IM C&)$9@

Johnny Boy  
This is a bowl of honey nut queerios™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also lowkey @sterling make ur name pegs schuyler because honestly there are too many also ilu


	10. A Mess

royalty george  
oh fuk

SeptHuitNeuf  
What @george

royalty george  
oh what

SeptHuitNeuf  
What

royalty george  
what

Johnny Boy  
this is a mess stop

royalty george  
tbh me

Johnny Boy  
lowkey same

SeptHuitNeuf  
Ya I've confused myself

~~

peggu schuyler  
makin red coats redder w blood stains

royalty george  
LA follette

royalty george  
LA FOLLETTE

Johnny Boy  
SCREAMING

ANGEL(ica)  
lol theres this tiny dolls here called fofoletes here and all i can see now is a tiny laffayette

SeptHuitNeuf  
Aww

TJeffs  
Awww

~~~

royalty george  
if u had kids what would u make them

royalty george  
nane

royalty george  
nane

royalty george  
nane

royalty george  
FUCK

peggu schuyler  
nane

royalty george  
IM YELINGSHF

TJeffs  
Girl or guy

royalty george  
either

royalty george  
or both

Washingdaddy  
Nothing because I don't wanna have kids whoops

royalty george  
me but like I kinda do

SeptHuitNeuf  
No kiddos for me

TJeffs  
Colin is the only one I know

ANGEL(ica)  
i dont wanna either

peggu schuyler  
i want to have twins & name them rain & bo but i want the older one to be bo bc if u r an older sibling u know that u say names in decending order start w the oldest so when ppl r like "haha rain & bo" bo will be like "fuck u its bo & rain"

peggu schuyler  
but also i want 0 kids

royalty george  
if I had a girl I would name her Jacqueline

Johnny Boy  
If i had a child i'd name them naruto

TJeffs  
Noooo

peggu schuyler  
why do u hate ur hypothetical child

Johnny Boy  
Ninja run

royalty george  
If I had a boy I would name him jackson

royalty george  
I like j's

Johnny Boy  
Jesus

royalty george  
dear god

Johnny Boy  
*dear jesus

royalty george  
dear jod

SeptHuitNeuf  
Omg sometimes I do that run in public


	11. Wild

royalty george  
one time I got kicked out of dennys

Maria  
y'all are wild

royalty george  
it wasn't my fault I swear

TJeffs  
Now I gotta know

royalty george  
aight so it was my graduation day

royalty george  
we went to Denny's afterward and me and my sister start arguing

royalty george  
my mom is looking in the camera like she's in the office

royalty george  
THIS BITCH THROWS HER FUCKING ICE TEA ON ME

royalty george  
ON MY GRAD DAY

royalty george  
IN MY WHITE DRESS

royalty george  
WITH MY HAIR DID

royalty george  
I JUST LOOKED AT HER AND ASKED IF SHE WAS READY TO DIE

royalty george  
I THREW EVERYTHING I HAD AT HER

royalty george  
MY FUCKING DRINK

royalty george  
MY FUCKING PLATE

royalty george  
MUSTARD

royalty george  
EVERYTHING

Ham  
Me

royalty george  
and that's how I got kicked out of dennys

royalty george  
I also almost got arrested twice

royalty george  
but deflect the situation

TJeffs  
Oh my god

TJeffs  
This is insane

royalty george  
I have a very short temper

Ham  
That was wild from start to finish

royalty george  
tbh thank u

TJeffs  
It really was

royalty george  
MY!!! GRAD!!! DAY!!!!

royalty george  
MY HAIR WAS FCKING FLEEKED

royalty george  
SHE RUINED MY WHOLE DAY TFFFFFF

Ham  
Christ

royalty george  
it was justified tbh

TJeffs  
Seems like it

baguette fucker  
I agree it was justified

~~~

Ham  
Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?

Johnny Boy  
that depends, who's daddy

Adotburr  
That depends, whose asking?

Johnny Boy  
Yoink

Adotburr  
Fuck john you stole my line

baguette fucker  
It's me chill children, im daddy

Ham  
I fucking snorted Jesus Christ

Johnny Boy  
YOINK

royalty george  
YOINK

Ham  
Oh well sure, sir  
I'm Alexander Hamilton,  
I'm at your service, sir  
I have been looking for you.

Johnny Boy  
im getting horny

baguette fucker  
jOHN

royalty george  
Fuckifbdh

Johnny Boy  
*animorphs into satan*

Adotburr  
Go away

royalty george  
IN CRYINGD

Ham  
Me

baguette fucker  
Blocked and deleted ngl

royalty george  
LITERALLYBDFIF

baguette fucker  
HAM STOP ENCOURAGING THEM

royalty george  
ANIMORPHS INTO SATAN

royalty george  
I HAVE TEARS

Johnny Boy  
I have horns

royalty george  
me

~~~

TJeffs  
We can talk about how fucking weird giraffes are

Maria  
THEIR NECKS ARE SO LONG

Maria  
HOW THE FUCK DO THEY NOT FALL OVER @TJeffs

TJeffs  
HAVE YOU SEEN ONE DRINKING

Maria  
OMG YES

TJeffs  
ITS RIDICULOUS

Maria  
WHAT THE FUCK

Adotburr  
Giraffes are like aliens tbh

royalty george  
THEYRE FUCKING LEGS WHAT THE FUCK

Adotburr  
Y u so tall?

royalty george  
KNOBBY KNEED FUCKING ALIENS

Maria  
HONESTLY GIRAFFES FIGHTING WHAT THE SHIT

TJeffs  
THEY HAVE PURPLE TOUNGES

royalty george  
THEY HIT EACH OTHER WOTH THEIR NECKS

Adotburr  
They just swing their heads at each other wtf

Johnny Boy  
THAT ONE VIDEO OF THE CHICK KISSING THE GIRAFFE

TJeffs  
They slap their necks together what the fuck

royalty george  
IM YELLING

Adotburr  
Giraffes are fuckin wild

TJeffs  
Their legs are so freaking tiny too

royalty george  
when they run its teffying

Johnny Boy  
Hail Giraffe Satan

Maria  
How long are their tongues

TJeffs  
So long

royalty george  
like I'd shit myself if I saw one

Johnny Boy  
One ate out of my hand

TJeffs  
Okay story time

TJeffs  
Young thommy was going to one of those drive through zood

TJeffs  
*zoos

Johnny Boy  
downhill already

royalty george  
rip

TJeffs  
And he had a bucket of popcorn

royalty george  
even more rip

TJeffs  
And the window was open

TJeffs  
AND A FUCKING GIRAFFE REACHED ITS STUPID NECK INTO THE WINDOW AND ATE MY POPCORN

Maria  
AHH

TJeffs  
And scared me so much

TJeffs  
Im scared of them now

TJeffs  
Traumatised for life

royalty george  
I would have been Gone

Johnny Boy  
Yoink

Maria  
OK SO IT WAS SPRING

TJeffs  
We went home and I hid

Maria  
AND HERE IN AUSTRALIA THERES THIS LITTLE SHITS CALLED MAGPIES

Ham  
*warflash backs*

TJeffs  
I've heard of those

Ham  
Friend of mine had to get 18 stitches from that that cut her head open

royalty george  
MAGPIES OMGG

TJeffs  
They're kinda pretty

royalty george  
those look terrifying

Ham  
Pure EVIL

Johnny Boy  
They remind me of you

Maria  
THEY DECIDED TO CHASE ME AROUND AND SWOOP AROUND THE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD

Adotburr  
Rip

Ham  
YJATS HAPPENED TO ME ITS TERROFYKNG

Maria  
I RAN 4 BLOCKS

Ham  
THAYS WHY I NEVER LEAVE THE JOUSE IN SPRING

Johnny Boy  
Bless

TJeffs  
Aren't you supposed to talk to them or something?

Ham  
N O

Maria  
NO

Maria  
YOU RUN

Ham  
U RUN AND U SCREAM

royalty george  
this is A Lot

TJeffs  
Never mind then we have tourists not magpies

royalty george  
THAT TIME A BAT SWOOPED THAT FUCK OUTTA ME

Ham  
BUT EVEN GOD CANT HELP YOU WHEN IT COMES TO MAGPIES

Johnny Boy  
BATS ARE INNOCENT

Maria  
BATS HERE ARE CHILL

royalty george  
A BAT FUCKED ME UP

royalty george  
I RAN SO FAST MY SHOES CAUGHT ON FIRE

Johnny Boy  
but ur already so hot

~~~~


	12. Motherfucking Texas

Ham  
Ok for real I'm going to cry my little brother took my charger for the night and now it's not working

Johnny Boy   
rip ilu

baguette fucker  
Rip man

royalty george  
tip

royalty george  
rip

baguette fucker  
Yes tip

baguette fucker  
Tip top spellimg george

baguette fucker  
Ayyyy

Johnny Boy   
return of tip

royalty george  
fucking hell

baguette fucker  
You can't fuck hell

baguette fucker  
Hell is a concept

Johnny Boy   
Try me

Adotburr  
Lol y are you like this

Johnny Boy   
The Bible Tells Me So

Adotburr  
Jesus loves me yes he does

Johnny Boy   
lowkey smile of a child

Johnny Boy /  
i learned everything from christian programing

Adotburr  
I remember them trying to teach us about the story of Jonah so they gave us fish sticks lol

Ham  
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus

Johnny Boy  
OKAY EVERY HUSH LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

Johnny Boy   
ABOUT THE LAST TIME I WENT TO CHURCH

Johnny Boy   
so i had to tag along because my uncle n aunt were baptizing their kid, so let's go through this shitstorm in the entirety

Johnny Boy   
Had to dress up in some dress bullshit i looked like a christmas tree ornament and got yelled at for not crossing my legs when i sat down tf

Johnny Boy  
go in to the church rest assured idk shit

Johnny Boy   
bitches try to hand me shit i lowkey roll back as far from the front of my seat as i can

Johnny Boy  
so they teaching something to the children

Johnny Boy  
they call all the children to the front

Johnny Boy   
im like damn look at those kids

Johnny Boy   
then

Johnny Boy   
down the middle thinger

Johnny Boy   
a fucking

Johnny Boy   
icecream cart rolls through

Johnny Boy   
with music n great colors n shit

Johnny Boy   
im like

Johnny Boy   
holy shit

Johnny Boy   
it's about to get LIT

Johnny Boy   
so the kids are gasping n super happy

Johnny Boy   
all around this dude with the icecream

Johnny Boy   
and he asks a kid "what do you want" with a smile

Johnny Boy   
the kid says "A rocket one!!" really happily

Johnny Boy   
then that

Johnny Boy   
that fucker

Johnny Boy   
literal asswipe mcgee

Johnny Boy   
reaches into his fucking icecream cart

Johnny Boy  
and pulls out

Johnny Boy   
broccoli .

royalty george  
HAJFJ

Adotburr  
Fuck that

royalty george  
BROCALLIRHDF

Johnny Boy   
SO IM LIKE

Johnny Boy  
WHAT THE FUCK

Adotburr  
I'd cry

Johnny Boy   
I FEEL THE DISAPPOINTMENT

Johnny Boy  
ITS FLOATING THROUGH THE AIR

royalty george  
IM SIVOBDO

Johnny Boy   
THIS LITTLE GIRL HAS TEARS IN HER EYES

Johnny Boy  
THE BOY IS FROWNING SO MUCH

royalty george  
FUCKKKKKK

Johnny Boy   
SOME KID RAN BACK TO THEIR PARENTS

Johnny Boy   
so

Johnny Boy   
the kids who stayed

Johnny Boy   
they got a few more shitty foods

Johnny Boy   
and a lesson

royalty george  
I WOULD SUE

Johnny Boy   
do you wanna know the lesson

Johnny Boy   
The w/e the fucks didnt expect to see jesus alive on that one day

Johnny Boy   
THE END

royalty george  
IM CRTING

royalty george,  
IM THE LITTLE GIRL WHO CRIED

Adotburr  
I remember going to this haunted house at a church when I was like 7 and we went to "hell" and it was hot and this guy was screaming in my face about how if I didn't pledge myself to God I'd go to hell and I had nightmares for like, 3 years and I didn't go back to church

royalty george  
LMAOOO

royalty george  
I'm sorry actually

royalty george  
that sounds horrific

Johnny Boy   
Texas

Johnny Boy   
ALSO ALSO ALSO

Johnny Boy   
ONE MORE THING ABOUT MY STORY

Adotburr  
It was traumatizing to my little self and like, y would they do that

Johnny Boy   
IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING BECAUSE MY UNCLE SAID THE GUYS DRESSED TOO

royalty george  
tbh tho

Johnny Boy   
"homosexually"

royalty george  
WHAT??

Johnny Boy  
AND THEN WE WENT TO SOME MEXICAN PLACE

Johnny Boy   
AND HE PUT THE BABY ON THE TABLE

Johnny Boy   
AND LET THIS 6MONTH OLD

Johnny Boy   
PLAY WITH A LEGIT STEAK KNIFE

Johnny Boy   
AND TRY TO DRINK BEER

royalty george  
WHAT THE FUCK

Adotburr  
Fuckin Texas

Adotburr  
The south is fuckin ridiculous

Johnny Boy   
it sounds so fakke but i live here

Adotburr  
It's like a bad movie but irl


	13. Secret Dm Action

royalty george  
Jesus told me to tell u that ur a cute patoot

Johnny Boy   
tell jesus his brother manuel was a bitch and we're not getting back together

royalty george  
SAVAGERY

Johnny Boy   
Listen manuel smelled worse then the werewolf i dated fuck him

royalty george  
U NEVER QUIT KSJFLMAOO

Johnny Boy   
OKAY BUT THE GAY WEREWOLF SHOULD NOT SMELL BETTER THEN HIS BURRITO ASS THE BOI SMELLED LIKE BOOTY AND LOOKED LIKE IT TOO

royalty george  
TAG YOURSELF IM THE BURRITO ASS

Johnny Boy  
I'M THE ONE WITH STANDARDS

royalty george  
FUCKK


	14. This is secret ooo

baguette fucker  
We're all quiet suddenly

Johnny Boy  
some people like pretending they're asleep

royalty george  
*eyes emoji's*

Johnny Boy  
some people like slidding into dm's

baguette fucker  
John /you/ should be asleep

Johnny Boy  
Don't expose me like this

baguette fucker  
Why doesn't telegram have italics and shit

Johnny Boy  
its 5am for george i'm exposing

baguette fucker  
I have words that have Tones that must be expressed

royalty george  
JOHN HOW COUKD U

baguette fucker  
gEORGE

Johnny Boy  
ITS LOVE

royalty george  
TONES

Johnny Boy  
ITS FOR UR OWN GOOD

baguette fucker  
BOTH OF YOU GO TO BED

royalty george  
IM CRYIB

Johnny Boy  
suddenly i cant read

baguette fucker  
NO ONE SHOULD BE AWAKE

baguette fucker  
APART FROM ALEX

baguette fucker  
Both of you jeez


	15. Put Your Opinion In The Comments Below

Johnny Boy  
Do you think there's a Lesbian Hand Becken

Johnny Boy   
Like you see old ladies becken with one finger

Johnny Boy   
But i use two

Johnny Boy   
is that gay

SeptHuitNeuf  
i dont think so?

Johnny Boy   
okay but how do you tell

SeptHuitNeuf  
i dunno

SeptHuitNeuf  
is there a way to tell whether a hand beckon is gay?

Johnny Boy   
is there a way to tell if its straight

Johnny Boy   
well tbh those whole arm motions r pretty straight

SeptHuitNeuf  
tru


	16. A Burr In My Side

Johnny Boy  
Aaron burr but on fire

Johnny Boy  
aaron burrn

Johnny Boy  
aaron burr but cold

Johnny Boy  
aaron burr

tailor soldier spy  
Feel the Burrn (The Election of 1800)

sneeze man  
aaron burr whenever

sneeze man  
aaron boorr

Johnny Boy  
aaron burr but relatable

Johnny Boy  
aaron tumburr

Johnny Boy  
that was a fail im sorry

royalty george  
ENOUGH DKDBSJDC

Johnny Boy  
I Tried My Best

royalty george  
U di

royalty george  
di

royalty george  
did

Johnny Boy  
Aaron burr but dead

Johnny Boy  
Who?

sneeze man  
aaron burr but alive

sneeze man  
who?

tailor soldier spy  
Nice sideBURRns

tailor soldier spy  
I'm not even sorry about that one

royalty george  
OMGGG

Johnny Boy  
aaron burr but eating

peggu schuyler  
omg

Johnny Boy  
aaron burrgers

royalty george  
PLESDE

tailor soldier spy  
Don't BURRn your tongue if they're too hot

sneeze man  
aaron burr in the room where it happens

sneeze man  
burriety show

royalty george  
IM CRYIHFJJ

Johnny Boy  
burr is going to have burritos instead

SeptHuitNeuf  
Wat has this gc come to

tailor soldier spy  
Aaron burrs car breaks down, all he needs is a new carBURRator

tailor soldier spy  
Aaron burr at maccu picchu riding a donkey, or a BURRo

Johnny Boy  
Aaron burr but relevent

Johnny Boy  
Alexander hamilton

royalty george  
IM TERLOJGUJF

sneeze man  
FUCKO

royalty george  
WHaVDHTEVER FKCK

Johnny Boy  
He Deserves Better

royalty george  
tbh

sneeze man  
i'd say he's doing burry well considering

Johnny Boy  
sf;iahsodihasd i can burrly believe this chat

royalty george  
this is a mess

tailor soldier spy  
He tends to BURRy his feelings

Johnny Boy  
He tends to burry his friends too

Johnny Boy  
hONESTLY

royalty george  
Look At Our Sin

tailor soldier spy  
FICK

TJeffs  
Its raining men

sneeze man  
he didn't know there was anything inside the burrel

tailor soldier spy  
looks like we need a mass BURRial

royalty george  
please spare me

tailor soldier spy  
Aaron burr at the mall

tailor soldier spy  
Makes a few BURRchases

TJeffs  
Guys plz

royalty george  
GODDDDD

sneeze man  
stop this burrage of puns

royalty george  
I EANT TO FIE

tailor soldier spy  
Buys a BURRs or a handbag for Theo p

tailor soldier spy  
The bags are a bit of a BURRden

tailor soldier spy  
But he BURRavely makes it home

sneeze man  
aaron burr trying to sing eliza's songs

sneeze man  
he can't hit those burrs

tailor soldier spy  
BURRN

royalty george  
I have Tears

tailor soldier spy  
Aaron burr is actually our first black president: BURRack Obama

SeptHuitNeuf  
screaMING

TJeffs  
AHHH

royalty george  
AAHHHHH

sneeze man  
aaron burr at ham's wedding

sneeze man  
burring

Johnny Boy  
screech

TJeffs  
Washington please help us

SeptHuitNeuf  
aaaaaaaahhhhhh

SeptHuitNeuf  
Washingdaddy save us

Washingdaddy  
You're beyond saving tbh

Johnny Boy  
DRAG US DADDY

TJeffs  
No please

sneeze man  
everyone has to make a pun burr none

royalty george  
RT WTF THE FUCJ

TJeffs  
This is your legacy

royalty george  
Congratulations

Johnny Boy  
Planting burrs in a garden you will never get to see

royalty george  
GOD EHY

Washingdaddy  
Is the burr really that low. Have your standards fallen that far

Johnny Boy  
yes

SeptHuitNeuf  
I can't burrlieve it

Johnny Boy  
i can burrly burrlieve it

royalty george  
PLEASE

Johnny Boy  
do the one that drags burr

Johnny Boy  
oh wait all of them do

sneeze man  
burr's existence drags itself

Johnny Boy  
WEHEEZING

royalty george  
SHUTTT

royalty george  
GOD PLEAEEB

Washingdaddy  
YIKES

tailor soldier spy  
AARON BURR IS ROLLING IN HIS GR AVE

sneeze man  
aaron "i tried to light up a candle and i set my entire living room and myself on fire" burr

Johnny Boy  
HE LOOKED FUGLY ANYWAY TB H

sneeze man  
aaron "i fell from my bed 5 times in one night" burr

Johnny Boy  
The Zit

royalty george  
SAVE YS

sneeze man  
aaron "i literally commissioned a sculpture when i had a zit" burr

sneeze man  
YES

royalty george  
FUSHHF

Washingdaddy  
He used a fucking gun I'm surprised he didn't shoot himself

royalty george  
tbh me

Johnny Boy  
HONESTLY

Johnny Boy  
SHOOT THE CANDLE

sneeze man  
JSTU DO TI

royalty george  
WHATS THE ZIT THING

Johnny Boy  
A Mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111

SeptHuitNeuf  
HE'D MISS

tailor soldier spy  
WH E E Z I NG

sneeze man  
so he got a sculpture done when he had a huge zit and when he saw it he was horrified and tried to convince the sculptor to change it

sneeze man  
but it didnt work it still look horrible

tailor soldier spy  
WHEEZE THAT IS SUCH A BURR THIBG

sneeze man  
so he ended buying it anyway

royalty george  
TBFH ME

Johnny Boy  
HE LOOKED SO UGLY THE ZIT WAS THE LEAST OF HIS PROBLEMSDFSIPOHFSDPOH

tailor soldier spy  
WOW

Washingdaddy  
SAVAGE

royalty george  
HE LOOKED LOKE A RAT TBH

sneeze man  
yo for real that's some weird ass pattern baldness

Johnny Boy  
SCREECHING


	17. Fake Friends Don't Aid Your Revolution

Johnny Boy   
also do u ever think about how fake hamilton was? lafayette is the one who was like "get your right hand man back" but still no aid for the french revolution

tailor soldier spy  
IM SO BORED MY GUYS

Johnny Boy  
AID THE FRENCH REVOLUTION THEN

SeptHuitNeuf  
Tru

tailor soldier spy  
Hamilton was Fake

Washingdaddy  
Tjeffs was realer than aham yikes

Johnny Boy   
Y I K E S

tailor soldier spy  
YIKES

TJeffs  
Whoop whoop

tailor soldier spy  
shut ur face

TJeffs  
NOT UNLESS THERE'S MAC AND CHEESE

Washingdaddy  
WE HAVE YET TO HAVE THE MAC N CHEESE PARTY

tailor soldier spy  
MAC N CHEEEEESE

~~~

SeptHuitNeuf  
*snuggles*

Johnny Boy   
no homo but this is p gay

SeptHuitNeuf  
Oh no I dunno wat ur talking about there is absolutely no homo here, none. We're totally Bro's ™

Johnny Boy   
Sorry Bro i just didnt want our fans to get The Wrong Idea my bro bro bro-y bro

SeptHuitNeuf  
I get it, were totally just Bro's, ma bro buddy pal

Johnny Boy   
Yeah dude man bro want to go inject monster into our veins just in case somebody doesnt believe us

SeptHuitNeuf  
Ye dude, just lemme grab my sports jersey to be extra Manly™

Johnny Boy   
Yeah dude dont forget your basketball shorts in winter

SeptHuitNeuf  
And remember to wear ur $500 Nike™ sneakers bro

Johnny Boy   
Shit man only $500 mine is $750 check them before i take a step and ruin the surplus of white on them

Johnny Boy   
Man on the down low i can only walk in urban areas or i'll ruin them so

SeptHuitNeuf  
Same don't worry dude ma man bro

Johnny Boy   
Sports ball

SeptHuitNeuf  
Sports

Johnny Boy   
Ball

SeptHuitNeuf  
Basketball

SeptHuitNeuf  
Soccer

Johnny Boy   
Football

Johnny Boy   
Hockey

SeptHuitNeuf  
Baseball

Johnny Boy   
So wanna make out later no homo my dude bro bruh dude pal homie

SeptHuitNeuf  
Sure ma dude bro , as long as it's No Homo™ my pal buddy dude

Johnny Boy  
Of course pal no Homosexuality™ here

Johnny Boy   
See you on the field bro

SeptHuitNeuf  
See you dude pal buddy bro


	18. Fight Club

ANGEL(ica)  
i love zombie apocalypse bc like u can kill ppl twice

ANGEL(ica)  
once than they become zombies

ANGEL(ica)  
than u shoot them again

ANGEL(ica)  
that was random but my point still stands

Johnny Boy  
Oh

Johnny Boy   
okay but i love the zombie apocalypse because anarchy

ANGEL(ica)  
true

ANGEL(ica)  
i feel like i would much less stressed

Johnny Boy   
same

royalty george  
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ANGEL(ica)  
wanna start apocalypse?

Johnny Boy   
Survival stresses me a lot less than life tbh

tailor soldier spy  
RT

royalty george  
I love twd

ANGEL(ica)  
rt

Johnny Boy  
I like the game best

royalty george  
The show is my fav

Johnny Boy   
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Johnny Boy   
lowkey no highkey come at me

royalty george  
ITS SO MUCH BETTER TBH

ANGEL(ica)  
i like zombieland bc that would be probably me

royalty george  
THE GAME IS MESSY

Johnny Boy   
DUMBFUCK SITS UNDER THE FUCKING TANK LIKE A MESS

ANGEL(ica)  
a lucky loser survivi g

Johnny Boy   
U CALLING THE GAME A MESS TF

royalty george  
IT IS A MESSSSS

Johnny Boy   
AT LEAST WE DO DRAMATIC DEATHS NOT JUST LIKE ooops another one

royalty george  
IT IS DRAMATIC

ANGEL(ica)  
WELL REVOLUTIO N IS MESSY BUT IS TIME TO TAKE A STAND

Alexander Hamilton  
It's raining again!!!

Johnny Boy   
VIVA LA REVOLUTION lets overthrow the government after obama leaves

royalty george  
THERE WAS A WHOLE EPISODE DEDICATED TO ONE PERSON DYIING

royalty george,  
ONE

Johnny Boy   
SAME TF

royalty george  
THE GAME WAS EXTRA

Alexander Hamilton  
Rt

ANGEL(ica)  
CAN I HELP OVERTHROW

Johnny Boy   
YOU ARE EXTRA

royalty george  
TRU

royalty george  
I DIDNT EVEN CRY

Johnny Boy  
NOT OUR FAULT UR SALT DEHYDRATES U

royalty george  
MY SALINITY IS THROUGH THR ROOF

Johnny Boy   
DONT USE THROUGH THE ROOF TF ITS 2016

royalty george  
THROUGH THE ROOF

Johnny Boy   
IM GOING TO THROW U THROUGH THE ROOF

royalty george  
I DARE U

Johnny Boy   
I DARE MYSELF TOO

royalty george  
SICOFHD

Johnny Boy   
SQUARE UP

Washingdaddy  
Children pls

Johnny Boy   
sorry daddy but u didnt use the dank memes so i cant hear u

royalty george  
FIGHT ME

Johnny Boy   
IM TRYING TOO COME AT ME CRAB CHILD

ANGEL(ica)  
im taking bets on this

royalty george  
CRAB CHILD TFFFFFF

ANGEL(ica)  
anyone wanna start a pool?

royalty george  
TURTLE TWAT

Johnny Boy   
"if it looks like the washington monument"

Johnny Boy   
AT LEAST IM NOT PUMPED TO LEARN NOW TO TELL CRRAB DICSK

TJeffs  
Put me down for 5 on john

ANGEL(ica)  
okay ur on

royalty george  
FUCK UUUUU

royalty george  
ITS RIDICULOUS

Washingdaddy  
Damn kiddos back at it again with the unnecessary yelling

baguette fucker  
What the hell

Johnny Boy   
sorry daddy

royalty george  
Y AM I LOOKING AT A CRABS DICK

Johnny Boy   
Sorry george a george better than u told me to chill

royalty george  
SAVAGERY

Johnny Boy   
YOU'D KNOW T BH

Washingdaddy  
:*

royalty george  
I'm sorry daddy I've suddenly never heard of a john :)))

ANGEL(ica)  
NO DONT CHILL FIGHT FIGHT

Johnny Boy   
YOUR MAKING ME BURN MY CHICKEN FINGERS

Washingdaddy  
SHHHHH 

TJeffs  
No washingdaddy my 5 bucks

royalty george  
FUCK UR CHICKEN FINGERS

ANGEL(ica)  
THE BET PLS

Johnny Boy   
georgy let's band together to steal the five bucks

Washingdaddy  
Shoulda bet on me tbh

royalty george  
TBH THO

Johnny Boy  
you can get the 3

Johnny Boy   
i get the 2

baguette fucker  
What the hell are we even betting on

royalty george  
um 2.50 each??

Johnny Boy   
who'd win in a fight between me and king george

Johnny Boy   
UR BROKE ASS DESERVES IT

royalty george  
bdjsjfj

baguette fucker  
Oh

royalty george  
accurate

ANGEL(ica)  
john and the rude george fighting but u can bet on daddy too

royalty george  
daddy will win tbfh

Washingdaddy  
I disbanded the fight so I guess I won?

baguette fucker  
My money's on john for winning and on daddy for a heart attack before this pool is over

Johnny Boy   
true af but me n george r getting the five

ANGEL(ica)  
ull never get it

Johnny Boy   
try me

royalty george  
^


	19. I had a nightmare that i had a nightmare and then walked to my mom to ask for comfort but none of the lights worked and when i went right by her she was like "watch your shadow" without waking up so i was lowkey like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "holy shit okay" so i went back to my room in the dream and my closet door was open and i was like okay that's why i am suffering but then i woke up and posted this so if i die from ignoring that know i was warned and am simply a dumbass. It's MY brand.

Alexander Hamilton  
i know what would make my name better

Washingdaddy  
I'm somewhat afraid to ask

Alexander Hamilton™  
This is my Brand™

Alexander Hamilton™  
Genius™

Washingdaddy  
Oh my god

Alexander Hamilton™  
It is I. Alexander Hamilton™

Maria  
OH MY GOD


	20. 300 messages and im still scrolling how dare interesting things happen when i'm not around you're all going to jail

Washingdaddy  
I have a small child in my arms what do

Alexander Hamilton™  
how small

Alexander Hamilton™  
if vry small slowly rock them back and forward or bounce them slightly, and make sure you support the head

Alexander Hamilton™  
any larger theyre fine

Washingdaddy  
She's like one??

Alexander Hamilton™  
go with option one

Washingdaddy  
Idk she's adorable and loves me so

Alexander Hamilton™  
i love small babies

Washingdaddy  
Rt

Alexander Hamilton™  
yeah so just make sure you support their butt and head

Washingdaddy  
Yeah I know how to hold one I was kidding

Alexander Hamilton™  
ok good

Alexander Hamilton™  
ive met people who dont and it was fucking traumatizing

baguette fucker  
Guys help my cousin is sleeping on me I can't move

Alexander Hamilton™  
fight

Maria  
How old are they

Maria  
If they're young don't move

Alexander Hamilton™  
I AGREE

Maria  
If they're older fight them

Alexander Hamilton™  
dont disturb the smol

baguette fucke  
It's okay and he rolled away

Alexander Hamilton™  
phew

baguette fucker  
Also i don't remember how old he is

Maria  
Nice

Alexander Hamilton™  
1-800 updated 11 minutes ago, nice

Alexander Hamilton™  
god im crying this update is gold

Washingdaddy  
The poor beb started crying when her mother took her back I feel so bad

Alexander Hamilton™  
My weakness tbh

~~~

sneeze man  
i'm reading fics where burr is deliberately made out to be a french shower and i'm still <3 <3 <3

baguette fucker  
Omg

Washingdaddy  
What's a french shower

sneeze man  
a douche

baguette fucker  
A douche

Washingdaddy  
OH

Maria  
WOW

sneeze man  
i'm pretty sure that's the only good pun you can make in frenglish i'm proud of myself

baguette fucker  
What do you call a bad Thursday in Paris?

baguette fucker  
A tra-jeudi

sneeze man  
sjhxsjbx

baguette fucker  
I live for french jokes tbh

Washingdaddy  
I like that weird cat canq joke tbh

baguette fucker  
Yes omg

baguette fucker  
You mean the PURRgatory one right?

sneeze man  
what a time to be alive

baguette fucker  
It doesn't work in French tho I'm so disappointed

sneeze man  
there's a bunch of french ones that work with besar in spanish+ baiser in french but alas, english hellspawn language ruins them

Washingdaddy  
Ooh what are the jokes

sneeze man  
oh literally anything that includes the word kiss

sneeze man  
no vayas a dejar que te /baise/

sneeze man  
and stuff like that

Washingdaddy  
I don't speak spanish so I googled but I think it still makes sense??

sneeze man  
yeah basically kiss gently and fuck hard sound p much the same

~~~

Washingdaddy  
What if the whole world was all one timezone and Australia and shit were just nocturnal

Maria  
Fuk u

Washingdaddy  
It wasn't an insult??

Washingdaddy  
Just like. What if

Maria  
SORRY

Washingdaddy  
It's okay!!

sneeze man  
it would be Better

Alexander Hamilton™  
I already am nocturnal

Maria  
Tru

sneeze man  
but the Australian's melatonin levels would be so unhealthy

Washingdaddy  
Petition to just get rid of the concept of time

sneeze man  
they deserve better

sneeze man  
goodbye harmonies in hamilton

Alexander Hamilton™  
Can we do the same with gender roles

sneeze man  
yes

Washingdaddy  
Yes

Maria  
YES

Washingdaddy  
Those yes' just got increasingly more capitalized

SeptHuitNeuf  
I'm signing

Alexander Hamilton™  
i am glad™

Washingdaddy  
How many signatures do you think we need to abolish two things society is p much based on

Alexander Hamilton™  
6

Washingdaddy  
My guess is like. 14

SeptHuitNeuf  
11

Alexander Hamilton™  
I hope our generation fixes things after the white gun toting anti-everything fuckers die off

baguette fucker  
Well usually to get the government to address petitions you need like 10k signatures so

Alexander Hamilton™  
Doable

Alexander Hamilton™  
A petition to every single government

sneeze man  
definitely doable

Maria  
SOMEBODY MAKE A GOFUNDME

~~~

sneeze man  
"it's 9 in the Australian morning and the moon is beautiful"

Washingdaddy  
The Australian Morning™


	21. Question Your Local Supermarket On If They Have Terrorist Apples

royalty george  
I TOOK FRENCH FOR 2 YEARS AND STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO SPEL MAPPELLE

royalty george  
OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER

Washingdaddy  
Rip

royalty george  
2 years wasted

sneeze man  
i hear in canada they say it je m'aple lafayette

peggu schuyler  
ok but ive taken french for almost 6 years now & still cant speak it well or read it like at all

Washingdaddy  
Only in like. Text speak

sneeze man  
IT WAS A PUN WASHINGTON

Washingdaddy  
OKAY BUT?? Its true

sneeze man  
i know i know you guys are gr8

Johnny Boy  
tbh it just looks like you guys are saying laf is an apple

Johnny Boy  
i kNOW IT'S NOT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT

Johnny Boy  
please be reminded the best sentence I can say in french is still je suis une pomme

Washingdaddy  
Make it je suis une pomme de terror and it's even better

Johnny Boy  
I can't tell if you called me a terrorist apple or potato

sneeze man  
fkdlhgjesf

Washingdaddy  
Potato

Johnny Boy  
mY FRENCH IS BAD I'M SORRY

peggu schuyler  
Wait isn't potato pomme de terre

Washingdaddy  
It's okay omg

SeptHuitNeuf,  
Rt

Washingdaddy  
Yes it is???

royalty george  
I thought it was pomme de terre??

sneeze man  
je suis un ananas

Washingdaddy  
OH FUCK AUTOCORRECT

Washingdaddy  
POMME DE TERROR IM CRYING

sneeze man  
lafayette: pomme de terror

baguette fucker  
TERRORIST APPLE

peggu schuyler  
rt

sneeze man  
an apple grenade

Washingdaddy  
I GOTTA GO

Washingdaddy  
@baguette fucker change your user to pomme de terror pls

baguette fucker  
Giving new meanings to guns and ships

Washingdaddy  
Making redcoats redders with apple skins

royalty george  
TFFFFF

TJeffs  
Alrighty then

peggu schuyler  
fashion


	22. Leave Burr Alone

Johnny Boy   
Burr: hamilton i loved you at first sight, and then you started talking

SeptHuitNeuf  
And my love shriveled up and died

Johnny Boy   
like my hairline

Washingdaddy  
Yike

TJeffs  
Y I K E

SeptHuitNeuf  
Y i K e

royalty george  
LMAOOO

royalty george  
SAVAGERY

~~~

TJeffs  
I have much to say

TJeffs  
I have opinions

SeptHuitNeuf  
about Mac n cheese?

Johnny Boy /  
cheese me daddy

royalty george  
STOP THIS

SeptHuitNeuf  
DADDY I CHEESE YOU

royalty george  
FUCK YOU

~~~

royalty george  
she doesnt have an accent tho

royalty george  
like an American accent

royalty george  
???

Johnny Boy   
hush crab person

royalty george  
please let me live it down

Johnny Boy   
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLAKC

SeptHuitNeuf  
CrAb PeRsOn

royalty george  
PLEASE

tailor soldier spy  
Why is george a crab person

Johnny Boy   
GEORGE LIVES IN CRAB

TJeffs  
The endless fights between george and john are great

tailor soldier spy  
? Maryland ?

SeptHuitNeuf  
Rt

Johnny Boy   
C R A B

royalty george  
YEAH MARYLAND

royalty george  
SAVE ME

tailor soldier spy  
WHAT

tailor soldier spy  
I GUESSED

tailor soldier spy  
HA

royalty george  
WE ONLY HAVE OLD BAY AND CRABS FUCK

~~~

Washingdaddy  
It's like a subtle southern accent and I'm dead

Johnny Boy   
DID I HEAR THE SOUTH

royalty george  
NO

Johnny Boy   
HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY

royalty george  
NINO

Johnny Boy   
HOWDY

Johnny Boy   
YEEHAW

Johnny Boy   
HOWDY HOWDY

royalty george  
FUCKIBG HWELDL

TJeffs  
Johd why do you do this

royalty george  
JOHD

Johnny Boy   
JOHD

~~~

"What kind of fucking name is seabury sounds like a fucking lush shampoo what the fuck"

~~~

SeptHuitNeuf  
We are doomed

Washingdaddy  
Rt

sneeze man  
we ARE doom

royalty george  
we are hell

sneeze man  
and just like hell, we are LIT

Johnny Boy   
light me on fire daddy

royalty george  
STOP THIS SI

royalty george  
N

Washingdaddy  
I'm not burr that's not my kink

Johnny Boy   
JFSPIOSDFHPOISDHFPOIHDIOPHFS

tailor soldier spy  
NOOOO

royalty george  
WHY U SNATCH HIM LIKE THAT

Johnny Boy   
WHEN WILL THIS CONSTANT ROASTING END

royalty george  
NEVER WHAT RHE FUCK

Johnny Boy   
RHE

SeptHuitNeuf  
BURRN

royalty george  
FUCK UUUUUUUU

sneeze man  
NOT OUR FAULT HE METICULOUSLY DOCUMENTED ALL HIS MISTAKES

sneeze man  
SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS

Johnny Boy   
YO U RUIN ED HI SDREAM JJOURN AL

Washingdaddy  
LIKE DAMN WHAT A HAMILTON THING TO DO TBH

SeptHuitNeuf  
so he meticulously documented his entire life?

royalty george  
BURRN BOOK

Johnny Boy   
REYNOLDS PAMPLET

tailor soldier spy  
Tjeffs pulls up in a fuchsia convertible "get in, loser, we're going to a cabinet meeting"

royalty george  
LMAOO


	23. Washington: back by unpopular demand

SeptHuitNeuf  
F U I'M NEVER GOING HOME

Washingdaddy  
I DIDNT REALIZE YOU WERE ALREADY ON YOUR WAY TO YOUR VERY FIRST DUEL BUT AIGHT

SeptHuitNeuf  
FFFFF UUUUUU

Washingdaddy  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

~~~

Johnny Boy   
I cut out all the irrelevant stuff yikes

Washingdaddy  
Good but at the same time that's like Our Brand™

SeptHuitNeuf  
Ye

SeptHuitNeuf  
Irrelevant is our brand™?

Johnny Boy  
Washington everyone knows irrelevant stuff is your brand

tailor soldier spy  
Rt

SeptHuitNeuf  
DRAG

Washingdaddy  
Yeah, kinda like john's comment

Johnny Boy   
dont do this to me 

~~~

Washingdaddy  
I'm a big stupid fartfaced lizard yike yike yike this chat is soooo much smarter than me i cant believe it yike yike

Johnny Boy   
Don't worry dorito faced senpai i will teach you

Washingdaddy  
Yike me harder onii san

Johnny Boy  
Nevermind

~~~


	24. Starbucks tastes so good but also so gross who made this legal.  Like its pure trash why am i enjoying it so much.  What even is this a frap.  Why are the words so complicated why not "coffee" "iced coffee" "smoothie but with coffee" "Hot mess coffee" "?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> like why even make these words so complicated. If someone says "the thing with the stuffing you lay on" you know they mean pillow and not a fucking turkey. Why not "the coffee with the tiny ice everywhere" you're going to get what they mean. It's like "Tfw you're angry" "Anger?" post its just right there. 
> 
> Also what is it with tea and coffee having chunks of stuff. I mean first there's bubble tea and that's the drink equivalent of unexpected ejaculation, and now there's strips of caramel in my drink like I Was Not Prepared.
> 
> I know who's beautiful. Read the first word ;D

Johnny Boy   
I Have The Receipts Right There

SeptHuitNeuf  
JOHN U HAVE EXPOSED URSELF

Johnny Boy   
My Brand™

Washingdaddy  
That ending was pure salt wow

Johnny Boy   
You'd know huh

Alexander Hamilton™  
Excuse me that's MY Brand™

Johnny Boy   
Our Brand ™ :*

SeptHuitNeuf  
@WASHINGDADDY DORITO FACED SENPAI

Alexander Hamilton™  
I can agree to that

peggu schuyler  
THE END IM IN TEARS

Washingdaddy  
REALLY THO WTF I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO PROVOKE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE @JOHN

royalty george  
IM TSLKINFNFNNF

peggu schuyler  
JOHN IS SO SALTY LIKE OMG BABE

royalty george  
Zhfkcjd

SeptHuitNeuf  
RT

royalty george  
Dfhbo

royalty george  
YIKE ME HARD

royalty george  
HARDER

Johnny Boy   
My Brand™

SeptHuitNeuf  
@WASHINGTON U FARTFACED LIZARD

royalty george  
WHEB JOHN SAYS nevermind

royalty george  
IMM YEKLKJV

SeptHuitNeuf  
REJECTED

~~~

SeptHuitNeuf  
Besides I'm not sleeping before Washington sleeps

Washingdaddy  
I'm??? Unrelated to your sleep schedule tho????

Johnny Boy   
i too sleep better with daddy

SeptHuitNeuf  
Yes u are ur time zone is one hour later than mine and it physically hurts my pride if I go to bed @ 1 here and ur still up @ 2 there

SeptHuitNeuf  
rt

Washingdaddy  
I'm older than you I'm exempt

royalty george  
a mess

Johnny Boy  
george you're like 5

SeptHuitNeuf  
I acknowledge ur objection but given that it's a stupid ass objection I've elected to ignore it

Washingdaddy  
sON

royalty george  
NO IM NOT

Washingdaddy  
GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP YOU LIL SHIT

Johnny Boy   
that sounds like something a five year old would say

royalty george  
IFJAJFJ

SeptHuitNeuf  
NOT BEFORE U U FUCKFACED LIZARD

Johnny Boy   
uwu

Washingdaddy  
LEAVE JOHNS ONLY ORIGINAL CONTENT OUT OF THIS I AM TRYING TO CIVILLY YELL AT YOU

Johnny Boy   
EXCUSE YOU YOU LITERALLY COPIED MY SASS AT THE AO3 MOD EARLIER AT ME

SeptHuitNeuf  
IT THE ONE THAT CALLED URSELF THE FARTFACED LIZARD

royalty george  
SHIIITTT

Washingdaddy  
WTF ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT PLS EXPLAIN

Johnny Boy  
everyone copies my content that's why everyone calls you daddy

Washingdaddy  
True this is your fault

Johnny Boy   
AT ONE POINT A MOD TOOK DOWN MY STORY AND I MADE ANOTHER AND THEY WERE LIKE "This is unnecessary" AND I WAS LIKE "like your comment (: ?"

Johnny Boy   
AND I KNOW U READ THE LOGS SO DONT PLAY

SeptHuitNeuf  
just blame john

Johnny Boy   
John Did Nothing Wrong

SeptHuitNeuf  
John Is v pure

peggu schuyler  
rt

Washingdaddy  
Ohh that I forgot that happened that was gr9

Johnny Boy   
and yet you still stole my content

Washingdaddy  
John you're exposing how pure you are wyd

Johnny Boy   
Dragging you mostly

Johnny Boy  
Rip Dorito Faced Senpai, looked like a bird and squawked like one too

Washingdaddy  
This is bullying I don't need this toxic behavior in my life

Johnny Boy   
tfw u cant think of a comeback so u just claim bullying

Washingdaddy  
Rt I'm not even gonna deny it

Johnny Boy   
Have I Dragged You Into Your Lane Yet

Washingdaddy  
I don't like being mean leave me alone pls

Johnny Boy  
its okay i already forgot why i started dragging u

Washingdaddy  
I STILL DONT KNOW

Johnny Boy   
i rEMEMBER YOU STARTED IT

SeptHuitNeuf  
John doesn't need a reason to drag anyone

Johnny Boy   
rt

Washingdaddy  
I said our brand is Irrelevant stuff or something and you called ME irrelevant

Johnny Boy   
that was in the past. That was like the jurassic times. stop being such a jurASSic hoe.

royalty george  
one time I dragged some one so hard it was dead silent and people said it was the meanest thing they'd ever geard

Johnny Boy   
let it go

royalty george  
Heard

Washingdaddy  
Geard

royalty george  
It wasn't that mean tho

SeptHuitNeuf  
Geard

royalty george  
fuck

Johnny Boy   
Washingdaddy says they cant take dragging, turn around and drag someone

royalty george  
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES

Johnny Boy   
some more than others

royalty george  
tru

Johnny Boy   
who am i dragging? yes

Washingdaddy  
Rt

SeptHuitNeuf  
*George K more than others

royalty george  
TFFFFF

Washingdaddy  
Omg

Johnny Boy   
i didnt even do it this time tf only i can drag georgy

royalty george  
rt

Johnny Boy   
:*

royalty george  
',)

Johnny Boy   
;D

Johnny Boy   
wait let me improve it

Johnny Boy   
,'D

royalty george  
yes omggg

royalty george  
',D

Washingdaddy  
Where did the ',) come from btw

royalty george  
me

royalty george  
I made it up

Johnny Boy  
Original Content Not For Losers

Washingdaddy  
I should have figured tbh

royalty george  
tbh u should have

Johnny Boy   
Soft Drag Aesthetic™

~~~

Johnny Boy   
have u seen

Johnny Boy  
the ty website

Alexander Hamilton™  
No

Johnny Boy   
look it up right now

Johnny Boy   
actually

Johnny Boy   
hold on i'll link

Johnny Boy   
http://www.ty.com/

Washingdaddy  
I'm getting a headache just from looking at it wow

Johnny Boy   
LOOK AT THE TY WEBSITE

Johnny Boy   
THEY ARE LEADING MANUFACTURER LEVEL

Johnny Boy   
AND LOOK

Johnny Boy   
AT THAT MESS

Washingdaddy  
HOW OLD IS THAT

Johnny Boy  
ITS UP TO DATE ON PRODUCTS

Johnny Boy   
BUT ITS A MESS

Johnny Boy   
IN CODING AND COLORS

Washingdaddy  
WTF THE FUCKKKKK

Johnny Boy   
SCREAMING

Alexander Hamilton™  
Also sorry john it's not loading

Washingdaddy  
IT LOOKS LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD DID IT IM....

royalty george  
ITS A MESSSSS

Johnny Boy   
OFC ITS NOT LOADING ITS SO EXTRA

Washingdaddy  
LIKE ITS MESSIER THAN THIS CHAT TBH

Alexander Hamilton™  
Ugly tubs is terrible I'm crying

Johnny Boy   
TY IS WORSE RT IF U AGREE

Washingdaddy  
RT


	25. HEY EVERYONE MINT UPDATED THEIR FIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who is this icecream named motherfucker who do you think i am does this look like a fucking dairy queen or a fucking braums or some british "Cheeky icecream with the lads" shit no this is ao3 i distribute only the most quality of memes

Johnny Boy  
[ CharlesLee.png ]  
tbh charles lee doesnt look that bad

royalty george  
tbh tho

Johnny Boy  
in fact he reminds me of something,,,,

royalty george  
no dear god

Washingdaddy  
What is with his nose tho

Johnny Boy  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Johnny Boy  
^CHARLES LEE

royalty george  
FUCK I KNEW U WERE GONNA PULL THIS SHITTTT

royalty george  
WHY IS IT TRU THKOOO

Johnny Boy  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

royalty george  
IM YODELLINGGGG

peggu schuyler  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Johnny Boy  
STOP SCREAMING CRAB CHILD

peggu schuyler  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

peggu schuyler  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

royalty george  
IM CONTINUING TO SCREAMMMM

peggu schuyler  
me all the time

Johnny Boy  
YOU'RE GOING TO SUMMON THE C R A B P E O P L E

royalty george  
CRABS HAVE BEEN SUMMONED

Johnny Boy  
IS THIS WHY YOU'RE SO CRABBY ALL THE TIME

royalty george  
FUCK U AND UR PUNS

Johnny Boy  
KING GEORGE OF CRABS SALT

peggu schuyler  
rt

Washingdaddy  
CHILDREN PLS

Johnny Boy  
I MEANT CRABS AND SALT BUT THAT WORKS

~~~

Johnny Boy  
i found a shirt with a summery of this chat

Johnny Boy  
[ Fuckery-Shirt.png ]

tailor soldier spy  
Good lord

Washingdaddy  
Amazing

~~~

baguette fucker  
Guys can we all just have a screaming session because I have a consultation and my group has nothing to present

TJeffs  
?????

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Good job kill your group mates

TJeffs  
I am sorry for you

Johnny Boy  
Present their corpses

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Why do you always choose shifty groups omg

baguette fucker  
I want to Die™

Washingdaddy  
PRAYER CIRCLE FOR GILBERT DU MOTIER MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE

peggu schuyler  
rt

baguette fucker  
IT'S THE SAME GROUP AS LAST TIME

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Rt

ANGEL(ica)  
i support this

baguette fucker  
I want to cry god help me

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
EVEN MORE REASON TO KILL THEM


	26. What The Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im still not over how when hamilton did what burr said he got his shit through congress but when aaron burr did what hamilton said he gets slammed by hamilton himself when hamilton gives the vote to jefferson  
> also
> 
> Burr-Hillary Clinton  
> Hamilon- Bernie sanders  
> Jefferson-Donald Trump
> 
> It's too accurate i hate it

Johnny Boy   
ALRIGHT FOLKS I HAVE A KINKSHAME CARD AND IM USING IT listen everyone ships dory/ whatever the fuck nemos dad was callled but i sHOULD NOT SEE SMUT FOR FISH THEY ARE FISH WHAT IS A SUDDEN FULL SIZED HUMAN MALE DICK GOING TO UNSEATH FROM THE FISH THIS IS NOT OKAY LISTEN THIS IS NOT ALRIGHT WOULD YOU FUCK A FISH NO THE ANSWER SHOULD BE NO ITS A FISH FOR ONE AND ITS TINY FOR TWO FISH SEX IS NOT NEEDED I NEVER NEEDED THIS OKAY THEY ARENT EVEN THE SAME SPECIES DO YO U WANT FIFTY LITTLE TOO SMALL FINN'D MESSES NO STO P THIS SHIT

royalty george  
DID U FIND MARLIN/DORY SMUT LMAOOOOO

Johnny Boy   
ARE YOU GOING TO THE AQUARIUM AND JAKCKING OFF THIS IS NOT ALRIGHT YOU DONT DO THIS SHIT THIS IS NOT OKAY BLUB B LUB IM A FISH NO STOP THIS IS FUCKKING TERRIBLE

royalty george  
TAG YOURSELF IM "THEY ARE FISH WHAT IS A SUDDEN FULL SIZED HUMAN MALE DICK GOING TO UNSEATH FROM THE FISH

Johnny Boy   
FUCK YOU

royalty george  
LMAOOO

TJeffs  
But Ewww NEMO smut gross

royalty george  
IM YELLIN

Johnny Boy   
THE HELL ARE YO UGONG TO FUCKING STICK A DILDO IN A FISH HOW THE FUCK IS THAT GOING TO FUCKING GFIT DO THEY HAVE FISH SIEZED DILDOS STOP THIS

TJeffs  
I mean

Johnny Boy   
FUCKING FISH VIBRATORS OR SOME TSHIT FUCKING FUCK A CORAL REEF THIS SI HELL SOTP ITS SO UNNEEDED

royalty george  
ENOYGJUGJ

TJeffs  
Maybe the anemone

royalty george  
ENOUGHHGHG

Johnny Boy   
FUCKING BAD ENOUGH DOLPHINS FUCKK FISH WE DONT NEED HUMANS FETISHIZIN G FISH

Johnny Boy   
FUCKING HOW EROTIC ITS FUCKING FISH SCALES AND SHIT I HATE THIS

baguette fucker  
WAIT PEOPLE SHIP DORY AND NEMO?????

baguette fucker  
NO NO DORY IS GAY

royalty george  
SHES A FISH LDJFFNDJ

baguette fucker  
I meant Marlin don't drag me

TJeffs  
I mean Ellen

TJeffs  
Is p gay

baguette fucker  
Bless her

baguette fucker  
I just imagine dory doesn't really romantic advances until it's like some girl and dory's like oh

baguette fucker  
But seriously it's a kid movie please don't ruin dory for me

TJeffs  
RT RT RT

peggu schuyler  
btw there was once this female like marine biologist or smtg & she did this study w a dolphin where she basically took a 2 story house & flooded 1/2 the first floor & lived w a dolphin for like a couple years??? i think?? & at sm point the dolphin started like poking her & all guests the weird lady had over w its dolphin dick????? so she started giving it hand jobs?? everytime it poked her????? & would try to get her guests to do it when they visited??

baguette fucker  
There's a term for that and it's called bEASTIALITY

peggu schuyler  
her journals r all published somewhere online

peggu schuyler  
i read a bunch of them bc my friend sent them to me

peggu schuyler  
yEAH apparently she thought it was a good way to form an emotional bond between herself & the dolphin??? i cant for the life of me remember what the original purpose of her

peggu schuyler  
experiment was

Johnny Boy   
I JUST HAD TO SIT THROUGH A LECTURE WITH FUCKIGN FISH PORN ON MY SCREEN SFODPHSODFHSDPOh

Johnny Boy  
IM DEAD FOR MANY REASON S I WAS NOT DONE KINKSHAMING

Johnny Boy  
LISTEN YOU DONT FUCKING MAKE PORN FOR FISH THEY ARE FISH DONT JUST DO NT ITS NOT HARD TO NOT FUCKA FISH ITS NOT HARD TO S T O P DONT WRITE FISH PORN JUST DONT FUCKING UNDERWATER ORGASMS DORA THE UNDERWATR EXPLORER BEING LIKE "CAN YOU FIND THE FISHES?" FUCKING I DONT WANT TO DORA THEY'RE BEHIND THAT ROCK JERKING THEIR FISH DICKS OR SOMET HSIT THIS ISNT OKAY THIS ISNT ALRIGHT THEY ARE FISH

Johnny Boy   
FUCKING GET AN IPAD APP ABOUT OWNING A FISH TANK NEXT THING YOU KNOW A FUCKING CLOWN FISH IS MOXING IT UP WITH SOEM RANDOM ASS PURPLE FISH ASS NO THAT SNOT NEEDED THATS NOT DESIRED MATERIAL SHOW ME LESS OF THIS

Johnny Boy   
OH YES WHAT A PERFECT WORLD TF ARE THEY GOINGT O HAVE SEX IN THAT PELICANS BEAKK IS THAT HOW YOU HAVE THREEWAYS I HATE THIS DONT FUCK THE FISH DONT THINK ABOUT IT DONT WRITE ABOUT IT I SHOULDNT SEE THSI CONTENT THEY ARE FISH THEY FUCKING SUCK DONT DO THIS CRAP FUCKING SWIMMING AROUND WITH ARIEL HEY FLOUDER WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY WELL ARIEL IM GOING TO FUCK THESE SHARKS HOLY SHTI FLOUDNER TF

Johnny Boy   
WHO GOES TO THE MOIVES ND IS LIKE WOW WHAT A LOVELY HEARTWARMING TALE ABOTU DISABLED FISH LET S MAK E THEM F U C K LETS LET THEM EXCHANGE FISHY BODILY FLIUIDS LETS HAVE THEM RUSTLE JIMMIES EVERYWHERE THE INTERNET DOES NOT NEED THSI FUCKK THAT RULE THAT SAY SEVERYTHING HAD PORN FOR IT THIS SHOULDNT THIS SHOULD BE PURE ITS F I S H FUCKING SHOVE A FISHSTICK UP YOUR ASS IN PRIVATE I DONT NEED THIS IN MY EYES I DONT NEED THIS IN MY LIFE I DONT NEED THIS I DONT NEED IT IN A BOAT I DONT NEED IT IN A BOAT I DONT NEED IN ON A TRAIN I DONT NEED IT IN THE RAIN I DONT FUCKING NEED IT AT ALL ITS FUCKING FISH SEX

Johnny Boy   
WHO IS THE DESIRED AUDIENCE

Johnny Boy   
WHO WANTS THIS WHO PUT THIS IN DEMAND

Johnny Boy   
i love how at a certain point people stop replying

TJeffs  
I dont think people really know how to respond to a rant about fish porn

Johnny Boy   
are there any options but screaming honestly

TJeffs  
I dont think so

baguette fucker  
Now you got me thinking about how to market fish porn

TJeffs  
It would be a slow process

Johnny Boy   
Please dont


	27. F F S

Maria  
IM HERE IM QUEER AND I I HAVE A MILD CONCUSSION

Maria  
I MISSED YALL

Alexander Hamilton™  
Missed you too

Maria  
<3 <3 <3

Alexander Hamilton™  
<3 <3 <3

baguette fucker  
Why tf do you have a mild concussion and why is no one worried about this

Alexander Hamilton™  
Honestly it's normal at my school

Maria  
I GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD

baguette fucker  
It shouldn't be???

baguette fucker  
WHY

Alexander Hamilton™  
Sports?

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
WHAT

Maria  
DANCE

baguette fucker  
Oh that's understandable

Alexander Hamilton™  
About as dangerous

baguette fucker  
Did you pass out

Maria  
ALMOST

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
BY WHO

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Jesus fucking Christ

Maria  
It was a practical exam and when we were rehearsing we had to do a handstand but she failed and basically landed on my head

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Oh my god??

baguette fucker  
SWEET JESUS

baguette fucker  
ARE YOU ALRIGHT

Maria  
MY HEAD IS WOOZY

baguette fucker  
DID YOU GET THAT SICK FEELING WHEN YOU HIT YOUR HEAD BECAUSE I HATE THAT

Maria  
YE

baguette fucker  
ARE YOU AT THE NURSE

Maria  
NO

baguette fucker  
WHY NOT

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
PLEASE SAY YOU WENT HOME

Maria  
I WENT TO THE REST OF THE SCHOOLDAY AND NOW IM HOME

baguette fucker  
WHAT

baguette fucker  
IS SOMEONE HOME WITH YOU

Maria  
No

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Oh my god don't die

Johnny Boy   
YA'LL TOO WILD BE CAREFUL

Maria  
I won't die DW

Johnny Boy /  
Did?????????? You see the nurse????

Maria  
NO

baguette fucker  
OMG

Johnny Boy   
why????????????????????

Johnny Boy   
MY HAIR IS WHITE WHAT R U DOING

baguette fucker  
IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU

baguette fucker  
BECAUSE I CAN'T EXACTLY FLY OVERSEAS

Johnny Boy   
HIGHKEY WHERE R U IM COMING

baguette fucker  
PLEASE GO SIT DOWN DON'T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE

baguette fucker  
YOU MIGHT BE SENSITIVE TO LIGHT RN

Johnny Boy   
TURN DOWN UR BRIGHTNESS

baguette fucker  
PLEASE GO THE HOSPITAL IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER SHIT

baguette fucker  
OR LIKE ARE SUPER WOOZY

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
ACTUALLY GO TO THE DOCTOR ANYWAY

Johnny Boy   
HOW OLD R U WHATS THE DATE HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP

baguette fucker  
LISTEN TO THIS ONE

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
WOW THIS ONE

Johnny Boy   
wow that one

baguette fucker  
Not the point guys

baguette fucker  
We are being concerned about maria here

Maria  
I CANT I GOT A PAPER DUE TOMORROW

Johnny Boy   
Salt cures my Anxiety ™

baguette fucker  
BUT YOU HIT YOUR HEAD????

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
LEAVE THE PAPER BEFORE YOU PASS OUT

Johnny Boy   
STOP GO TO A DOCTOR WTF

Johnny Boy   
okay im a hypocrite i cut my hand open and my response was to ask if i could have my computer back

Maria  
BUT GRADES???

Johnny Boy   
but dont be like me im a mess

Johnny Boy   
BUT LIVING??????????

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Jesus everyone take care of yourselves

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
BUT HEALTH???

baguette fucker  
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A GRADE IF YOU DIE

Johnny Boy   
RT RT RT

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
LISTEN TO THAT ONE

Alexander Hamilton™  
@maria how many hours has it been since the Takedown™

baguette fucker  
Seriously, there are more pressing issues

Maria  
YE BUT HERE IF SOMEONE FROM THE CLASS DIES EVERYONE ELSE GETS AN A SO LIKE TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM???

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
nO

Johnny Boy   
D O N T

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Oh my god no

Maria  
BUT THE A

Alexander Hamilton™  
Same tbh

Johnny Boy   
THIS IS SUCH A MESS OH MY GOD PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
RT

Maria  
I CANT MY MUMS NOT HOME

baguette fucker  
I'm laughing so hard at "take one for the team"

Johnny Boy   
CALL UR MOM

Maria  
I GOT NO CREDIT

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
TAKE A CAB AND GO YOURSELF

Johnny Boy   
O H ITS NOT THE TIME FOR MY SALT BUT U CAN LAUGH AT TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM

baguette fucker  
I'M STILL CONCERNED

Johnny Boy   
SO AM I

baguette fucker  
No but go to the doctor seriously

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
I MIGHT ACTUALLY START YELLING BUT IM IN SCHOOL

baguette fucker  
Are any of your neighbours doctors

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
LISTEN TO THAT ONE

Johnny Boy   
yeah legit this is An Issue™

baguette fucker  
Or taxi drivers

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
wouldn't they be out

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Driving

baguette fucker  
This is why you make friends with your neighbiurs

baguette fucker  
True

Johnny Boy   
are we making "listen to that one" a meme

baguette fucker  
Find a neighbout who has a car

baguette fucker  
DON'T NOT TURN ME INTO A MEME

baguette fucker  
DO NOT* FUXK

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
DO IT

Maria  
DW I WONT DIE TILL I GET KOREAN BBQ

SeaberryOrSomeShit  
me tbh

Maria  
I FEEL REALLY SLEEPY IS THAT OK

Johnny Boy  
NOSDIPFHSDOHFSPOIDHFPOSIDHF

baguette fucker  
NO THAT'S BAD OMG

Johnny Boy   
PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR

baguette fucker  
WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
I'm laughing so hard at this line that says one of the health benefits of exercise is increased interest in sex

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
YES SEE A DOCTOR

Johnny Boy   
stop why are you doing that rn

baguette fucker  
Is this the time

Johnny Boy   
I MEAN SAM E BUT

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
IM FUCKING DOING MY PROJECT WHICH IS DUE IN LIKE 10 mins

baguette fucker  
Sex is exercise but like...

Johnny Boy   
WE'rE SO MESSY

Maria  
I CANT I DONT EVEN HAVE MY MEDICARE CARD

baguette fucker  
Why is your project on sex

baguette fucker  
What's medicare

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
ITS NOT ITS ON EXERCISE

Johnny Boy   
rt but seriously

Johnny Boy  
Go Around Someone Trustworthy

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
IM ASSUMING ITS A SUBSIDY THIG

baguette fucker  
Please ask your neighbours for help

Maria  
it's a card that like pays for a big percent of your medical shit

baguette fucker  
Or call your mum to ask her where's the medicare

Alexander Hamilton™  
Without it everything is too expensive

Maria  
I. HAVE. NO. CREDIT. TO. CALL. MY. MUM

baguette fucker  
Do you not have a house phone

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
WAIT ARE YOU USING PREPAID

Johnny Boy  
GO USE SOMEONE ELSES PHONE

baguette fucker  
Borrow your neighbour's phone

Johnny Boy   
WHO HAS A HOUSE PHONE????????????

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Exactly

baguette fucker  
I DO

baguette fucker  
LANDLINE IS A THING

Alexander Hamilton™  
House phones went out of style

baguette fucker  
HAKUNA YOUR TATAS

Johnny Boy   
SORRY I DIDNT KNOW U LIVED IN THE 1800'S DID BURR LOSE YET

Maria  
YE but like my mums at work and I don't wanna disrupt her grinding

SeaBerryOrSomeSHit  
EXCUSE YOU I HAVW A HOUSE PHONE TOO

Johnny Boy   
*facepalms*

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
GRINDING

Johnny Boy   
Alright this is a mess. Enough.

Johnny Boy   
Maria what can you do right now?

Maria  
SING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

baguette fucker  
Burr died in 1836 and the phone was invented in 1876 sooo

Johnny Boy   
What can you do in a helpful way to your ailment

baguette fucker  
Actually that is good because you are awake

Johnny Boy   
Can you use any internet based messaging to reach your mother

Maria  
No

baguette fucker  
But go borrow a neighbour's phone

Johnny Boy  
Can you trust your neighbors

baguette fucker  
Does your mum not have wa seriously

Maria  
Mate

Maria  
I live in Australia

Johnny Boy   
Okay dont start

Johnny Boy   
Can you trust your kangaroo

baguette fucker  
Are neighbours particularly untrustworthy in australia or some shit

Johnny Boy   
They are in texas i'll believe it

Maria  
Most times

Alexander Hamilton™  
Yeah

Johnny Boy   
Can you reach anyone nearby in anyway

Alexander Hamilton™  
If u can't trust ur kangaroo who can you trust

baguette fucker  
Ask your doctor

baguette fucker  
@maria what time is your mum coming home

Maria  
Plus I don't have an appointment

Johnny Boy  
EMERGENCY ROOM

Maria  
IN LIKE 2 HOURS

baguette fucker  
Or literally anyone who is capable of taking care of you

baguette fucker  
Can you meet your mum in the er

Maria  
i really don't wanna disturb anyone

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Can they even walk

Johnny Boy   
you

Johnny Boy   
i

Johnny Boy   
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

baguette fucker  
You know what's more disturbing? DEATH

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
WELL IF YOU PASS OUT YOURE GONNA DISTURB EVERYONE

baguette fucker  
MOTHERFUCKING DEATH

Johnny Boy   
I'm just

Maria  
The nearest hospital is like 25 minutes away

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Jesus

baguette fucker  
[Ensemble] go go go

Maria  
My mums in the city

Maria  
The city is 40 minutes away

Johnny Boy   
Nothing like summer in the city. I am having a scream.

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
I forgot there was a thing call a LARGE ASS COUNTRY

baguette fucker  
THIS IS WHY YOU FUCKING LIVE IN A SMALL ASS COUNTRY

baguette fucker  
WHERE EVERYTHING IS 20 MINUTES AWAY

Johnny Boy   
okay as a texan im offended

baguette fucker  
How are you offended

Johnny Boy   
as a person WSIFPHDFHDSFH GO TO TEHDOCTOR

baguette fucker  
By my tiny ass country

Johnny Boy   
texas is big

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
^

baguette fucker  
So?

baguette fucker  
Singapore is tiny

Johnny Boy   
Listen is now the time

baguette fucker  
We're smaller than texas ffs

baguette fucker  
RIGHT YES

baguette fucker  
Are you still sleepy

Maria  
YE

baguette fucker  
As far as possible you should not sleep

Maria  
Kk

baguette fucker  
Are we talking oh I'm tired after school sleepy or i just hurt my head sleepy

baguette fucker  
I'm assuming there's a difference

Maria  
I really wanna go to sleep sleepy

baguette fucker  
Shit no

baguette fucker  
Okay

baguette fucker  
Who's at home rn

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Don't say kangaroos

Maria  
Me n my dog

baguette fucker  
That's not helpful

baguette fucker  
But i meant among the gc

Johnny Boy   
me

Alexander Hamilton™  
Me

baguette fucker  
Okay maria can you skype them

baguette fucker  
Until your mum comes home

Johnny Boy   
shit i cant skype rn

baguette fucker  
Type faster I'm stressed out here

Johnny Boy  
me too honestly

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
I'm in school omg

Alexander Hamilton™  
I should be available in like 20?? Minutes. Mums making me clean up a lil

baguette fucker  
Okay maria don't sleep and text us for 20 min until alex can skype you

Johnny Boy   
Can I Take Your Injury For You

Maria  
No

Maria,  
I won't let you

baguette fucker  
Play with your dog

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
And like continue texting pls

Maria  
Imma make food

baguette fucker  
Yes keep yourself busy excellent

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Just don't pass out doing it

Maria  
Kk

baguette fucker  
Keep your dog around

baguette fucker  
For a soft landing surface

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Oh my god no

baguette fucker  
Am I wrong

Johnny Boy   
yeah

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Well try not to kill it??

~~~

baguette fucker  
Can we just make it a fucking rule that those in the gc can't die until we are old and grey

Alexander Hamilton™  
What if I wanna die for my country

Johnny Boy   
What if i wanna die

Maria  
Rt

baguette fucker  
That's different; Assumedly you would be inactive in the gc by that point

baguette fucker  
Only when you're like 80

Alexander Hamilton™  
Good point

baguette fucker  
Maria how long has it been since you hit your head

Maria  
Idk

Maria  
But look what I found

Maria  
[ ItsWine.png ]

Maria  
CHARDONNAYYYYY

Alexander Hamilton™  
Put it away nerd

Johnny Boy   
Im screaming

Maria  
Not before I get a sip of it

Alexander Hamilton™  
Pls put it down

Alexander Hamilton™  
They got Takendown™ by someone 5/4s of their height

Maria  
[ Voice message ]

Johnny Boy   
I cant listen rn whats that say

Alexander Hamilton™  
" they're 5'10 and im 4'8"

Alexander Hamilton™  
"She's so strong man"

Alexander Hamilton™  
Basically

Adotburr  
Wtf did you do that you got taken down by someone 3 ones your size

Johnny Boy   
dance

Maria  
Dance

Adotburr  
Jesus Christ

baguette fucker  
I just dropped all my food motherfucker

Maria  
NNOOOO

baguette fucker  
丢脸

baguette fucker  
我没有面子

Johnny Boy   
i cant translate that rn

baguette fucker  
basically i said i have no face and lost my dignity

Johnny Boy   
Relatable

baguette fucker  
I would die rn but I'm still concerned about maria

Alexander Hamilton™  
Don't worry I got em

baguette fucker  
I Am A Mess™

Maria  
Same

baguette fucker  
Also I'm being glared at for being a mess

baguette fucker  
The sound you hear is me being glared at for being a national embarrassment

baguette fucker  
I am john adams ong

baguette fucker  
Omg*

Johnny Boy   
is everything good now is there a skype call going

Alexander Hamilton™  
Not yet

~~~

baguette fucker  
Also is maria alive????

Johnny Boy  
alex said they were dm'ing

baguette fucker  
Excellent

Alexander Hamilton™  
Alive and well

SeaBerryOrSomeShit  
Well maybe not well but alive seems right

Alexander Hamilton™  
Well enough to not cause the Extreme Anxieties™

~~~

Johnny Boy   
Is The Skype Thing Resolved

baguette fucker  
Yes this is important because i want to see maria's face

Alexander Hamilton™  
yes the skype thing is resolved

~~~

peggu schuyler  
i leave for a couple hours bc my phone died & so did maria wow

Johnny Boy  
so much mess im glad its resolved


	28. Washingdaddy got drunk

Fuck uploading it tho lol ya'll chat too much

Also they a lightweight n they were hella sweet the end bless


	29. 420

Washingdaddy  
Why do we always end up at fire

Alexander Hamilton™  
Fire is good

Johnny Boy  
4:04 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:05 blaze it

Alexander Hamilton™  
Me

Washingdaddy  
Oh dear

Johnny Boy  
4:06 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:07 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:08 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:09 blaze it

TJeffs  
Um. Its 11:00

Johnny Boy  
4:10 blaze it and also fight me

Alexander Hamilton™  
It's 7:11 here

Eliza  
11.11 here

Johnny Boy  
Hold on sending a picture of who asked for this sass (4:11 blaze it)

TJeffs  
11:11 make a wish

Eliza  
Will do!

Johnny Boy  
i wish it was 4:20

Eliza  
It will be soon for you

Johnny Boy  
4:12 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:13 yOU CANT STOP THE HOMESTUCK, THOUGH ITS WEIRD AND RANDOM ITS THE GREATEST FANDOM

Johnny Boy  
JOHN EGBERT ROSE LALONDE ASCEND DESCEND etc

Johnny Boy  
LET GAMZEE OUT OF THE FRIDGE

Alexander Hamilton™  
No don't remind me pls

Johnny Boy  
CANTOWN WAS A DREAM

Johnny Boy  
THE ENDING GAVE NO RESOLUTION 

Johnny Boy  
ERIDAN WAS A MESS

Johnny Boy  
4:14 blaze it

Alexander Hamilton™  
Also what the fuck do presidents do once they stop being presidents

Johnny Boy  
enjoy a quiet life in the country

Johnny Boy  
$eriou$ly nothing more intere$ting, they ju$t live life humbly without exce$$ benefit$

Johnny Boy  
4:15 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
4:16 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
416 only gives you guns and area codes for toronto

Johnny Boy  
when u google it , i mean

Johnny Boy  
4:17 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
417 yeilds more area code, guns, and one disturbing clown

Johnny Boy  
4:18 blaze it

Johnny Boy  
tiny gun, sports care, and unrelated mix

Eliza  
Soon it's time for the real deal

Johnny Boy  
4:19 blaze it

Eliza  
How do you feel john?

Johnny Boy  
apparently "The scam messages often claim to originate in Nigeria, but usually this is not true. The number "419" refers to the section of the Nigerian Criminal Code dealing with fraud, the charges and penalties for offenders."

Johnny Boy  
i am Thriving

TJeffs  
Well

Johnny Boy  
4:20 blaze it, time is meaningless and the minimum wage is not something you can live off of

Johnny Boy  
Time to get woke

Johnny Boy  
Racism and discrimination based on social class or skin tone is real and thriving

Johnny Boy  
Poverty is real and not a funny joke

Johnny Boy   
People disregard fact because they dont want to agree

Johnny Boy  
Trump is running and may win if people dont vote

Johnny Boy  
4:21. blazed it.


End file.
